Admittance.

​Admitting something is hard especially when its yourself. This something, I have struggled with most of my adult life. This is not for sympathy or even pity. This is for awareness, acceptance and just to let it ‘out’. 7 years ago, I was afflicted with sihr, and sihr is not something to be shunned in our arrogant, blinded community. Sihr is so much than that, the pain, the nightmares, the looks, the backbiting of you not being enough or even human, or control that you once had in your life. Sihr becomes part of you, and so many of us are affected in vary degrees. Alhamdulillah we have ruqya and hijamah (may Allah subhana wa ta’ala grant jannatul ferdous upon the raaqis and hijaamists) to help us live a ‘normal’ life, but what is ‘normal’?
 When the very people who suppose to hold to gold and care for you, degrade you as a human due to ignorance or not accepting your fate, sometimes even a burden. Many friends and family lost due to fear and anger but they are the ones who tell you have lack of taqwa. Many forgotten due to you losing yourself.
 Many Muslims are quiet about this, due to fear of being outcast or stared down upon for something they did not ask for but tested upon. This taboo of ours, need to be spoken widely and even discussed, its not a horror story, its reality. 
No more silence please,  when we have support, tender love and care, and great patience that’s one step closer defeating this silent disease. One step in building our self esteem, one step closer of what feels real and what’s feels like a dream. One step closer being human again. If we don’t hold onto each other, you will see a broken soul in each of us and you would not understand why. This also goes to my sisters who are struggling with mental health. We are all in the same ship, but we have our backs towards each other. Its time we turn around and be open with our trials.
Jazak’Allah khayr for all my true sisters in my life who have shown me am much more than this sihr, who accepted me in their arms when I was broken and defeated. You helped me so much, I don’t think I can ever repay you sisters. And proved with a community standing together we can build one another up and succeed in life. 💖💖💖

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