Admittance.

​Admitting something is hard especially when its yourself. This something, I have struggled with most of my adult life. This is not for sympathy or even pity. This is for awareness, acceptance and just to let it ‘out’. 7 years ago, I was afflicted with sihr, and sihr is not something to be shunned in our arrogant, blinded community. Sihr is so much than that, the pain, the nightmares, the looks, the backbiting of you not being enough or even human, or control that you once had in your life. Sihr becomes part of you, and so many of us are affected in vary degrees. Alhamdulillah we have ruqya and hijamah (may Allah subhana wa ta’ala grant jannatul ferdous upon the raaqis and hijaamists) to help us live a ‘normal’ life, but what is ‘normal’?
 When the very people who suppose to hold to gold and care for you, degrade you as a human due to ignorance or not accepting your fate, sometimes even a burden. Many friends and family lost due to fear and anger but they are the ones who tell you have lack of taqwa. Many forgotten due to you losing yourself.
 Many Muslims are quiet about this, due to fear of being outcast or stared down upon for something they did not ask for but tested upon. This taboo of ours, need to be spoken widely and even discussed, its not a horror story, its reality. 
No more silence please,  when we have support, tender love and care, and great patience that’s one step closer defeating this silent disease. One step in building our self esteem, one step closer of what feels real and what’s feels like a dream. One step closer being human again. If we don’t hold onto each other, you will see a broken soul in each of us and you would not understand why. This also goes to my sisters who are struggling with mental health. We are all in the same ship, but we have our backs towards each other. Its time we turn around and be open with our trials.
Jazak’Allah khayr for all my true sisters in my life who have shown me am much more than this sihr, who accepted me in their arms when I was broken and defeated. You helped me so much, I don’t think I can ever repay you sisters. And proved with a community standing together we can build one another up and succeed in life. 💖💖💖

Brexit, what now?

Haatim Asam was a mureed (disciple) of Hadhrat Shaqeeq Balkhi

(Rahmatullahi alaihima). Hazrat Shaqeeq asked him one day:

“You have been with me for thirty years.

What have you gained over these years?”

Hazrat Haatim (Rahmatullahi alaih) replied:

“I have gained eight benefits of Ilm which are adequate for me;

hopefully my redemption and salvation are in these benefits.”

Hazrat Shaqeeq asked:

“And what are they?” Hazrat Haatim Asam replied:

One: “I looked at creation and saw that everyone showed affection and love to someone dear and beloved. Some loved ones stayed with the lover till his death-bed and some till the pit of the grave. Then the loved one goes away and leaves the lover all alone and lonely. None of them stays with him in the qabr. I reflected and came to the conclusion that the best beloved to a man is one who enters the grave with him and keeps him company there. This I did not find in anything but A’maal-e-Saalihah (virtuous deeds). I thus took that as my beloved to be a lamp for me in my qabr and to keep me company there, for that will not leave me alone.

Two:“I saw creation following its vain desires and hastening to fulfil its ambitions, so I reflected over Allah Ta’ala’s declaration:

‘Whosoever fears the appearance before his Rabb and keeps his nafs’ desires in check then verily Jannat is the Abode (for him/her)’ – An-Naazi’aat, 41/41

I was convinced that the Qur’aan is True and the Truth. I therefore hastened to oppose my nafs and I rolled my sleeves up to wage jihaad against it and stop it from its vain desires until it became trained to worship and be obedient to Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta’ala.

Three: “I saw every person striving to gather the flotsam and jetsam of this world, then grasping firmly onto it with their hands. I thus pondered over Allah Ta’ala’s statement:

‘Whatever you have will perish and whatever Allah has is everlasting.’ – An-Nahl, 96

I thus expended my capital of this world for the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala disbursing it to the masaakeen (poor) as my investment by Allah Ta’ala.

Four: “Indeed I have seen some people labouring under the impression that their honour and dignity are with the crowds and a huge family. They are deceived by their numbers. Others again think that their honour and pride are in being very rich and having many offspring. Then there are those who assume their honour and glory to be in robbing people of their wealth, oppressing them and murdering them. Some people again believe that throwing away money, spending freely and wasting bring honour. I reflected over the proclamation of Allah Ta’ala:

‘Verily, your most honourable by Allah is the most Allah-fearing among you.’ – Al-Hujuraat,

I, therefore, adopted Taqwa and I resigned myself to the belief that the Qur’aan is True and the Truth whilst their opinion and perception are baatil and zaail (corrupt and fleeting) in entirety.

Five: “I saw people reproaching each other and speaking ill of each other. I found that to be the product of jealousy over others’ wealth, position and knowledge. I then pondered over Allah Ta’ala’s proclamation:

‘We have allotted their (man’s) livelihood to them in this earthly life.’ – Az-Zukhruf, 32

I thus realised that this allocation from Allah Ta’ala is since eternity. I, therefore, do not harbour jealousy towards anyone and I am contented with Allah Ta’ala’s allocation.

Six: “I saw that people are enemies with each other for base motives. I contemplated over Allah Ta’ala’s statement:

Verily, Shaitaan is your enemy and therefore take him to be your enemy.’ – Faatir, 6

I thus came to the conclusion that it is not permissible to be enemies with anyone besides Shaitaan. (In other words inner hatred and enmity are only for Shaitaan. And how does one take Shaitaan to be one’s enemy? Shaitaan’s mission is to deflect, stop and mislead the creation of Allah Ta’ala from Allah Ta’ala’s obedience and Siraatul Mustaqeem. Shaitaan promotes and peddles wrongdoing, evil and haraam. Taking Shaitaan as an enemy means: to regard these actions which are classified as disobedience unto Allah Ta’ala and straying from Siraatul Mustaqeem as acts to incumbently abstain from and stay far away from.)

Seven: “I have seen everyone striving with vigour and labouring arduously in search of food and livelihood with wanton disregard for doubtful (mushtabah) and haraam. In the process they disgrace themselves and spoil their reputation. Then I reflected over Allah Ta’ala’s declaration:

‘There is no creature on earth but it is the prerogative of only Allah to sustain it.’ – Hood, 6

I thus realised that my sustenance is the responsibility of Allah Ta’ala. He has assured it. I, therefore, turned my attention to His Ibaadat and severed my avarice from everything besides Him.

Eight: I saw everything relying on some created entity or the other; some on money, some on capital and authority, some on their profession and jobs and some on like-creation. I then contemplated the statement of Allah Ta’ala:

‘Whoever reposes his trust in Allah, Allah is sufficient for him. Verily, Allah completes His work. Indeed Allah has determined for everything a quantity.’ – At-Talaaq, 3

I thus reposed my trust in Allah, so He is sufficient for me and He is a wonderful advocate.”

Hazrat Shaqeeq (Rahmatullahi alaih) replied: “May Allah Ta’ala grant you taufeeq! The Torah, the Injeel, the Zaboor and the Furqaan (the Qur’aan) centre on these Eight Treasures. So, whoever practises on these eight treasures is practising on these Four Scriptures.”

(From Ayyuhal-Walad of Imam Ghazaali Rahmatullahi alaih)

Settling in…

Assalamu alaykum (Peace be upon you),                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      When you move, its a big decision. Where you are going to live? what type of house/flat? what are the rental agreements? Etc. And these are very much adult things to do, which I sometimes wish I wasn’t an adult and could be carefree, however the reality is far from it.   Me and hubby are literally starting from the bottom. We literally had nothing, and the furniture we have is donated by family, which am ever so grateful for.But one thing I have noticed, is the finance of it all, bills, food, how much we use certain utility and really trying to earn and hit our target which is £600 per month. We refuse to live on hand outs as we believe if we are able to earn we should earn.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        For those who are struggling with finance, what me and hubby did is sit down and work out how much we spend. which is a very daunting and the most realistic thing you can do to yourself regarding about money. Made 2 lists, one is necessity and one which is luxury. Simply write down everything, even the type of food you buy. And you really have to question yourself  is Pringles important or luxury, which of course its a luxury. And this month we are doing a trial run on how much we spend in total so we get a realistic idea.                                                                                                                                                                                  Yes, there will be sacrifices and yes we have to be stubborn with ourselves, however we see this as a challenge especially on food matters and our lifestyle. I think one thing which we would struggle if I was to be honest with you is the food. Me and hubby are such big food lovers!!! However, hopefully this will give more realistic recipes for those who are living on the tighter end of the money scale.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         “There is nothing to do but hope and take each day as it comes”

Breathing at Last

Assalamu alaykum (Peace be upon you),

This is my first ever blog post,  and probably the first time am putting myself forward. Quite nervous isnt it, putting yourself out there. Life is such a strange journey, you don’t know where Allah subhana wa ta’ala will take you, from being homeless at the age of 5, always constantly being moved from one city to another till at the age of 8, came to the beautiful city of Birmingham, UK. At last some form of stability, nope. A tumultuous relationship with my mother, learning to have 2 personalities, one who I really was and one that made me fit in with the crowd. Finding Allah subhana wa ta’ala and the beautiful religion, Islam, at the age of 13, even though I was born as a Muslim. Thats the same age I found myself, my morals, and my perception of the world. Even self-confidence when I started wearing the veil at that age. Everyone found it strange, even my dear mum tried to coax me to take it off, but I was the stubborn one. I wore it for Allah subhana wa ta’ala and didn’t really care what people saw of me.


Moving fast to age of 19, got married (arranged) to the most beautiful, humble, knowledgeable believer. He still surprises me every day and how in the world did I manage to earn such a delicate soul. But the moment I got married, (some will laugh even mock again I couldn’t care less when I had the similar treatment from my family) I was afflicted with black magic and a serious case. 2 things that kept me alive and also kept my sanity. My merciful Lord and the one who has the key to my heart, my husband.


6 years of loneliness, judgements, accusations

, slandering, backbiting, some even suggested divorce. And with my husband I have finally left the place that reminds me of nightmares and the cruel eyes.

Insha’Allah hopefully, me, my husband and my little kitten, Tigger, can start a new adventure with happiness, getting close to Allah subhana wa ta’ala and maybe even this blog. Not really good at keeping things up but we will see how long I last.


This blog hopefully can let me grow and really transform myself who I really want to be. Along with my favourite hobbies cooking and art. Maybe this blog could help me think. We will just have to see then. Hopefully you can come along if you like and I would like to get to know the communities here.


Wa’alaykum asalam

The Six Mountain Peaks of Righteousness

Ibrahim ibn Adham rahmatullah alayh said to a man who was doing a tawaf:

“Know that you will not attain the rank of righteous until you have climbed six mountain peaks.

First, you must shut the door of pleasant life and open the door of hardship.

Second, you must shut the door of self glorification and open the door of humility.

Third, you must shut the door of quiet and open the door of self exertion.

Fourth, you must shut the door of sleep and open the door of vigil.

Fifth, you must shut the door of wealth and open the door of poverty.

Sixth, you must shut the door of hope and open the door of readiness for death.”

The Spiritual Programme

A spiritual programme that everyone should adopt especially in these times which the Prophet sallalahu alayhi wasalam predicted that majority of the “Shaykhs” would be misguided themselves and misguide others. Please click on the link below.

http://reliablefatwas.com/thikrullaah-purpose-life